Monday, December 13, 2010

Labor

I have a friend that is going to go onto labor in the next month or so. She is freaked out and the majority of her friends on facebook tell her everything will be ok if she gets an epidural. GET THE MEDS!!!!


If we are all friends why shouldn't we tell her the truth.I bet only about 40% of women that get an epidural actually don't feel anything, about 45% probably feel something but can bear thru it. But then there is the lucky 5% that get the epidural and still feel a human pushing thru their vagina! Yes,I said it....you feel every elbow, knee,and in my case huge head slide right through a 10cm whole that once was less that 1cm wide!

You feel like the cramps you had all 10 years past have came back to haunt you all in one moment. You cant concentrate through the contractions, nor are you able to keep conversation. You actually wish that everyone that is in your room watching you look like the exorcist can just been in your shoes for one of the one minute contractions. The contractions get so close that you feel like taking things into your own hands and ripping the baby out yourself.

You finally hear the doctor tell you that you are 10cm....what you have wanted to hear all day/night. But that's not where is starts....cause then it still takes 20 minutes of hell for them to actually get "set up" for you to have a baby. While that is all happening you are trying to convince the nurse that if you push, she can catch the baby...wink at her then slip her a 20 dollar bill....it didn't work for me, but maybe you will have better luck.

You start pushing at every contraction ( I pushed when I told them I was, with or with out a contraction). My husband holding a leg, a nurse, and in Linkin's case Doogie at my crotch (yes, your doctor doesn't really deliver the baby if you have a resident on staff in Labor and delivery,unless you refuse...and by this point does it really matter!) You have a freaking cheering squad telling you to push and breath and all you want to do is spit fire at all the bitches! You will have to push though your ass, which later you will wish you have never done cause your booty will be soooo sore. It will make walking real fun! 

This is where all the stories of taking a shit during child birth come in. Its exciting stuff! When the head is finally out the doctor will ask you if you want to feel or even help pull the baby out (I know right)...screw the small talk ,and get this sucker out of me. They pull him/her out and place them on your stomach...and  instantly all your thoughts go away and you are full of emotions that you never knew you had! Let me be the first to tell you that it is over whelming and one of the best moments of my life....I was lucky enough to have gone through it 4 times!!

Good Luck Caroline! love you

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Soccer Mom

I don't think that I have to tell ANYONE that I am "that"mom who is the yeller at her kids sporting events. I am very loud and proud mom (my mom even bought me a shirt that states just that!) Yes, other people stare at me and NO ...I don't give an ounce of shit when they do.
These are just a few reasons why I wonder why parents put their kids in sports......

1. I want my kids to learn to play well with others.....DO these parents know that Soccer is a contact sport. How about putting them in ballet?

2. I want my kids to meet other kids......I can think of a crap load of play dates that wont cost you 85 bucks for the next two months!

3. I played soccer....and obviously you didn't make it that far...stop living thru your child.

It irritates me that parents want their kids to be in a sport and make it a point to tell the coach that "we are only here to have fun"....well Tylerr is here to have fun and kick your kids ass,and I will be yelling all the way to the goal!

ohhh side note...apple juice and a banana is not considered a fun snack after a game. Whatever happened to goldfish and a capri sun!!!?

I'm back and hopfully staying

Life has caught up with me and I finally have a hang of things! I have been asked to jump back on board with this blog....I can hardly update my personal blog. I do believe that this blog gives me my "out"...writing about the things that make me frustrated and everyday issues. I love the responses that I get from everyone,I appreciate it good and bad.

Let me know if there is a topic that you want to hear or talk about.I'm up for anything!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

10 things that I learned from having kids

1. The little things in life matter.....like rocks and dirt.Or even a smile and hug!
2. Staring your kids down, really does hurt their feelings.
3. Adding bubbles to the bath make for an adventure.
4. Even in the roughest days a kiss from your kids really do make  me feel better.
5. Generic wipes suck...rather pay for the expensive ones!
6.Who would  have thought someone 28 years younger than me, could push my buttons!
7. Having daughters makes me understand the love that I have with my own mom, and look forward to that same relationship with my own kids.
8. Sometimes I need to have a breakdown, just to get through the day.
9. One kid was sooo easy, two was a learning experience,three was challenging....trying to figure out what 4 will bring!
10. Couldn't imagine my life with out my girls. I wouldn't be the person I am today without them.

This week

On a blog that I follow they recently did a week of 10.Every day,sometimes twice or three times a day they would have random list of ten. Some were inspiring others where just funny.I decided to try it out. If you have an idea for a "list of ten" let me know and I will add it to the week,i promise you comment on a list that you want to read about I will write about it. Let see what we can come up with!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

MY birthing plan

Last week  I was sitting peacefully by myself,watching my children play at the splash pad. When along comes a lady with a little boy. She sits right next to me,  I mean uncomfortably close. I am already bothered  with this lady....seriously there were tons of spots to sit and I get her in my lap!!

I could tell this lady was pregnant like she obviously knew that I was. This is where it all began.
This was our conversation....
lets call her Marsha.....

Marsha: "How far along are you?"
Me: 7 months (to be nice, I asked) And you?
Marsha: 5, with another little boy. Do you know what you are having?
Me: This will be my fourth girl.
Marsha: Ohhh, your husband must be so disappointed?

(first off...screw you Marsha)

Me: He doesn't mind.
Marsha: do you have your birth plan written out yet?
Me: Excuse me?
Marsha: You don't have a birth plan?
Me: yes, I plan on having a baby!!!
Marsha: ohhh...you should have one. Me and my husband decided to have no medication, When I get to the hospital I want to sit on a birthing ball to help calm me. We are going to have Josh Grobin playing in the background,  no one but me and my husband,well including the doctors,will be in the room with us.
You should really have a plan.

Good thing (well not really) that Pierce got knocked over by an older kid. I ran up to pick her up and packed up the girls to go home.

ahhh Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.....

First off: My husband doesn't get a choice in whether or not I receive medication or not. Lets be honest,I'm part Mexican.....If I had no medication I'd be sounding like the other ladies down the hall...you know the ones without insurance and have the whole family in the waiting room munching on tacos and burritos! Those ladies are screamers, screaming things that I don't even know what they are saying. But it must be funny if my dad is laughing.

Second: Isn't rolling on balls how I got into this mess......

Third: There will be no music in my room. Is this supposed to calm you, cause if so then crank the Eminem or Dr.Dre. That would get me pushing!

Fourth: There is nothing more awesome in the world then to have a child, but to be able to watch someone watch you have a baby....its pretty cool too. I would love to be able to experience someone close to me have a baby....so I love returning the favor.

So....maybe that's my plan!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Thats right People.....


Big Brother starts July 8th (thursday)!!!

Back By Popular Demand!

OK, well maybe I'm not Michelle Obama or anything, but I do appreciate the emails asking when I was going to be back up. There must be lots of reality drama to talk about!!!! The address has changed, something was wrong with the cookies on my last blog and they adds wouldn't show up....so here we are for round two. I'm excited to be back on, I have so much to talk about. Remember that there will be polls every week. Join in....love to see your opinion.