Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Looking back

Looking back at the late 2011 post on facebook today, I realized that I was in a funky place. Normally I wouldn't venture to old post to just see what I wrote, but it was brought to my attention from a good friend. She told me that even though I am the same person, my actions and words were so very different now then that place I was in months ago.

I made a promise to myself that I wanted to handle situations different this year. Change was coming to 2012 and I think I have already accomplished that goal in a short 4 months. All around I am a happier person. I have put all I have into Little Helpers and enjoy doing it. I have surrounded myself with encouraging, supportive and fun friends.My kids keep me on my toes and I wouldnt want it any other way.

I am truly a lucky girl. I have a supportive husband, 4 beautiful kids, amazingly helpful and loving parents, and friends that surprise me everyday with their love and helpfulness.

Here's to the next 8 months......

Sunday, April 8, 2012

My birthing plan.....

Originally wrote in 2010......Mommy war #1.....Birthing plan or not???

Last week I was sitting peacefully by myself,watching my children play at the splash pad. When along comes a lady with a little boy. She sits right next to me, I mean uncomfortably close. I am already bothered with this lady....seriously there were tons of spots to sit and I get her in my lap!!

I could tell this lady was pregnant like she obviously knew that I was. This is where it all began.
This was our conversation....
lets call her Marsha.....

Marsha: "How far along are you?"
Me: 7 months (to be nice, I asked) And you?
Marsha: 5, with another little boy. Do you know what you are having?
Me: This will be my fourth girl.
Marsha: Ohhh, your husband must be so disappointed?

(first off...screw you Marsha)

Me: He doesn't mind.
Marsha: do you have your birth plan written out yet?
Me: Excuse me?
Marsha: You don't have a birth plan?
Me: yes, I plan on having a baby!!!
Marsha: ohhh...you should have one. Me and my husband decided to have no medication, When I get to the hospital I want to sit on a birthing ball to help calm me. We are going to have Josh Groban playing in the background, no one but me and my husband,well including the doctors,will be in the room with us.
You should really have a plan.

Good thing (well not really) that Pierce got knocked over by an older kid. I ran up to pick her up and packed up the girls to go home.

ahhh Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.....

First off: My husband doesn't get a choice in whether or not I receive medication or not. Lets be honest,I'm part Mexican.....If I had no medication I'd be sounding like the other ladies down the hall...you know the ones without insurance and have the whole family in the waiting room munching on tacos and burritos! Those ladies are screamers, screaming things that I don't even know what they are saying. But it must be funny if my dad is laughing.

Second: Isn't rolling on balls how I got into this mess......

Third: There will be no music in my room. Is this supposed to calm you, cause if so then crank the Eminem or Dr.Dre. That would get me pushing!

Fourth: There is nothing more awesome in the world then to have a child, but to be able to watch someone watch you have a baby....its pretty cool too. I would love to be able to experience someone close to me have a baby....so I love returning the favor.

So....maybe that's my plan!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

kind words

This isn't always easy for me. If you know me well enough you know that most of my negativity is mostly out of comic relief. Today I had some really awesome conversations with friends about life. In these conversations they pointed out in some way that their first impression of me was a bold one and not really quite sure how I fit into their life. A little to aggressive and judgy. I'm that "you either like me or not" person.   The conversation continued on to say that after they actually got to know me I wasn't so bad and actually was a fun person to be around and they were glad to have a friend in me.

This blog post isnt to talk about me....but it just made me realize not to judge right off. I will be the first to admit I place judgment from the get-go.......I think I will stand back, take it in and get to know people first. I for one know that if someone didnt give me a chance I'd be missing out on some great friends.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Power of Prayer...part 2

As I have said many times I don't understand the concept of Power of Prayer. I agree that prayer when its a "real" prayer can be good for the soul or even answered at times. But when multiple people pray for your child having the flu, that it makes a difference when 100 people pray vs. just you?....doesn't make sense to me.

With all of that being said I have found that prayer helps me deal with my anxiety and stress lately. Maybe its the meditation part. Whatever it is I gladly welcome it. If you are really close to Greg and I you know that we have been struggling with some big family decisions the last couple of months. It's been a long drawn out journey one that I don't want to have to go through again, but just two weeks ago I feel that everything has finally found its place. No more questioning or wondering how things are going to turn out. I owe this all to extremely supportive parents and really close friends. Most importantly the faith that I have that there is a person so much bigger than me that is listening and looking out for me. It didn't take a 100 people to pray that my family of 6 got through this time. It was the faith that I knew whatever the outcome was, it was meant for us.

I still might no understand Power of Prayer, but I do have faith.

Power of prayer part 1

This blog entry was on my personal blog almost 12 months ago........Start of a new series.

I have been questioning Power of Prayer lately. I have never understood why others ask each other to pray for them. I understand prayer and I often in my alone time (which isn't much) pray or talk to GOD.

I feel like this is something that I have been searching for while now. Just recently have I thought that if this is a true thing,if it will help me cope with my sadness or maybe lift my spirits in a way that nothing else could,that just maybe this was the time I needed it the most.

Last night Linkin had a hard time falling asleep. I decided to rock her.. She was the most precious baby that I had seen since Pierce was that age! As I rocked her I started to tear up,hoping that everything was ok with her. Tears kept falling as I hoped that Thursday wasn't to traumatic for her and that I could stay sane the whole time. At the moment I started to pray,and pray hard. I ask God to protect her, if test results are bad or not, just to please make things easy for her. Wishing that she has no pain. I asked that when her doctor calls, that she gives good news and that I can finally breath better. Linkin fell asleep even with my alligator tears laying all over her.

That very night I had a dream.

I woke up this morning with the biggest smile and huge sigh of relief.

Nana (my mom's mom) was in my dream. In my dream I heard Linkin crying,I got up went to the bathroom and heard a beautiful singing voice. Not just any voice, I had heard this voice before signing hymns at Sunday church. I looked everywhere trying to find her.She was singing the song she made up for me and my baby Hilda. This time instead of using Hilda's name she was singing to Linkin. I finally found her outside on a big wooden swing holding Linkin in her arms. She tells me to sit down,looks at me and tells me that Linkin is going to be ok.

I'm breathing a little better today. Was this God speaking to me? Or a beautiful angel looking out for me?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Pretty Little Liars

I'd like to know how you can be a down right liar and be pretty....it makes you ugly.
This is why I never ask anyone...."Do you like my hair", "Do these jeans make my butt look good"
If I were to ask these questions I would hope that my friends would tell the truth to me....hence not asking them. Those are "kind" lies. What I really cant stand are the ones that just make you look good or better than the next person.

I love this saying that I found on good'ole Pintrest.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day

I'm a believer in celebrating a holiday to the fullest for my kids sake. The looks on their faces when they woke up this morning to a bucket of goodies made me fuzzy inside. Heart shaped waffles that had them amazed that cereal wasn't on the menu. The looks on their faces and the joy of them coming out of school with all of their Valentines given by their classmates is always fun to hear about.

More times then not Greg and I skip celebrating holidays for each other. We always say that we rather spend the money on something for the kids or something that is needed for the house or car.

I wish Greg could have seen the look on my face as I opened the door with a crying kid in my hands and another at my feet yelling "Cheetos's". I almost started to cry. I don't care if its a Holiday in which a guy is supposed to remember that he loves me. Sometimes in the mist of our busy schedules in New Mexico or Arizona, just knowing that a smile will be brought to my face is what matters. It worked.