Tuesday, March 20, 2012

kind words

This isn't always easy for me. If you know me well enough you know that most of my negativity is mostly out of comic relief. Today I had some really awesome conversations with friends about life. In these conversations they pointed out in some way that their first impression of me was a bold one and not really quite sure how I fit into their life. A little to aggressive and judgy. I'm that "you either like me or not" person.   The conversation continued on to say that after they actually got to know me I wasn't so bad and actually was a fun person to be around and they were glad to have a friend in me.

This blog post isnt to talk about me....but it just made me realize not to judge right off. I will be the first to admit I place judgment from the get-go.......I think I will stand back, take it in and get to know people first. I for one know that if someone didnt give me a chance I'd be missing out on some great friends.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Power of Prayer...part 2

As I have said many times I don't understand the concept of Power of Prayer. I agree that prayer when its a "real" prayer can be good for the soul or even answered at times. But when multiple people pray for your child having the flu, that it makes a difference when 100 people pray vs. just you?....doesn't make sense to me.

With all of that being said I have found that prayer helps me deal with my anxiety and stress lately. Maybe its the meditation part. Whatever it is I gladly welcome it. If you are really close to Greg and I you know that we have been struggling with some big family decisions the last couple of months. It's been a long drawn out journey one that I don't want to have to go through again, but just two weeks ago I feel that everything has finally found its place. No more questioning or wondering how things are going to turn out. I owe this all to extremely supportive parents and really close friends. Most importantly the faith that I have that there is a person so much bigger than me that is listening and looking out for me. It didn't take a 100 people to pray that my family of 6 got through this time. It was the faith that I knew whatever the outcome was, it was meant for us.

I still might no understand Power of Prayer, but I do have faith.

Power of prayer part 1

This blog entry was on my personal blog almost 12 months ago........Start of a new series.

I have been questioning Power of Prayer lately. I have never understood why others ask each other to pray for them. I understand prayer and I often in my alone time (which isn't much) pray or talk to GOD.

I feel like this is something that I have been searching for while now. Just recently have I thought that if this is a true thing,if it will help me cope with my sadness or maybe lift my spirits in a way that nothing else could,that just maybe this was the time I needed it the most.

Last night Linkin had a hard time falling asleep. I decided to rock her.. She was the most precious baby that I had seen since Pierce was that age! As I rocked her I started to tear up,hoping that everything was ok with her. Tears kept falling as I hoped that Thursday wasn't to traumatic for her and that I could stay sane the whole time. At the moment I started to pray,and pray hard. I ask God to protect her, if test results are bad or not, just to please make things easy for her. Wishing that she has no pain. I asked that when her doctor calls, that she gives good news and that I can finally breath better. Linkin fell asleep even with my alligator tears laying all over her.

That very night I had a dream.

I woke up this morning with the biggest smile and huge sigh of relief.

Nana (my mom's mom) was in my dream. In my dream I heard Linkin crying,I got up went to the bathroom and heard a beautiful singing voice. Not just any voice, I had heard this voice before signing hymns at Sunday church. I looked everywhere trying to find her.She was singing the song she made up for me and my baby Hilda. This time instead of using Hilda's name she was singing to Linkin. I finally found her outside on a big wooden swing holding Linkin in her arms. She tells me to sit down,looks at me and tells me that Linkin is going to be ok.

I'm breathing a little better today. Was this God speaking to me? Or a beautiful angel looking out for me?