kind words

This isn't always easy for me. If you know me well enough you know that most of my negativity is mostly out of comic relief. Today I had some really awesome conversations with friends about life. In these conversations they pointed out in some way that their first impression of me was a bold one and not really quite sure how I fit into their life. A little to aggressive and judgy. I'm that "you either like me or not" person.   The conversation continued on to say that after they actually got to know me I wasn't so bad and actually was a fun person to be around and they were glad to have a friend in me.

This blog post isnt to talk about me....but it just made me realize not to judge right off. I will be the first to admit I place judgment from the get-go.......I think I will stand back, take it in and get to know people first. I for one know that if someone didnt give me a chance I'd be missing out on some great friends.

Power of Prayer...part 2

As I have said many times I don't understand the concept of Power of Prayer. I agree that prayer when its a "real" prayer can be good for the soul or even answered at times. But when multiple people pray for your child having the flu, that it makes a difference when 100 people pray vs. just you?....doesn't make sense to me.

With all of that being said I have found that prayer helps me deal with my anxiety and stress lately. Maybe its the meditation part. Whatever it is I gladly welcome it. If you are really close to Greg and I you know that we have been struggling with some big family decisions the last couple of months. It's been a long drawn out journey one that I don't want to have to go through again, but just two weeks ago I feel that everything has finally found its place. No more questioning or wondering how things are going to turn out. I owe this all to extremely supportive parents and really close friends. Most importantly the faith that I have that there is a person so much bigger than me that is listening and looking out for me. It didn't take a 100 people to pray that my family of 6 got through this time. It was the faith that I knew whatever the outcome was, it was meant for us.

I still might no understand Power of Prayer, but I do have faith.

Power of prayer part 1

This blog entry was on my personal blog almost 12 months ago........Start of a new series.


I have been questioning Power of Prayer lately. I have never understood why others ask each other to pray for them. I understand prayer and I often in my alone time (which isn't much) pray or talk to GOD.

I feel like this is something that I have been searching for while now. Just recently have I thought that if this is a true thing,if it will help me cope with my sadness or maybe lift my spirits in a way that nothing else could,that just maybe this was the time I needed it the most.

Last night Linkin had a hard time falling asleep. I decided to rock her.. She was the most precious baby that I had seen since Pierce was that age! As I rocked her I started to tear up,hoping that everything was ok with her. Tears kept falling as I hoped that Thursday wasn't to traumatic for her and that I could stay sane the whole time. At the moment I started to pray,and pray hard. I ask God to protect her, if test results are bad or not, just to please make things easy for her. Wishing that she has no pain. I asked that when her doctor calls, that she gives good news and that I can finally breath better. Linkin fell asleep even with my alligator tears laying all over her.

That very night I had a dream.

I woke up this morning with the biggest smile and huge sigh of relief.

Nana (my mom's mom) was in my dream. In my dream I heard Linkin crying,I got up went to the bathroom and heard a beautiful singing voice. Not just any voice, I had heard this voice before signing hymns at Sunday church. I looked everywhere trying to find her.She was singing the song she made up for me and my baby Hilda. This time instead of using Hilda's name she was singing to Linkin. I finally found her outside on a big wooden swing holding Linkin in her arms. She tells me to sit down,looks at me and tells me that Linkin is going to be ok.

I'm breathing a little better today. Was this God speaking to me? Or a beautiful angel looking out for me?

Pretty Little Liars

I'd like to know how you can be a down right liar and be pretty....it makes you ugly.
This is why I never ask anyone...."Do you like my hair", "Do these jeans make my butt look good"
If I were to ask these questions I would hope that my friends would tell the truth to me....hence not asking them. Those are "kind" lies. What I really cant stand are the ones that just make you look good or better than the next person.

I love this saying that I found on good'ole Pintrest.

Valentine's Day

I'm a believer in celebrating a holiday to the fullest for my kids sake. The looks on their faces when they woke up this morning to a bucket of goodies made me fuzzy inside. Heart shaped waffles that had them amazed that cereal wasn't on the menu. The looks on their faces and the joy of them coming out of school with all of their Valentines given by their classmates is always fun to hear about.

More times then not Greg and I skip celebrating holidays for each other. We always say that we rather spend the money on something for the kids or something that is needed for the house or car.

I wish Greg could have seen the look on my face as I opened the door with a crying kid in my hands and another at my feet yelling "Cheetos's". I almost started to cry. I don't care if its a Holiday in which a guy is supposed to remember that he loves me. Sometimes in the mist of our busy schedules in New Mexico or Arizona, just knowing that a smile will be brought to my face is what matters. It worked.

One proud Parent

A couple of months ago a friend and I were talking about facebook. She told me that I quite often compliment my kids and their behavior or achievements in school and in outside school activities. I have since then learned that it bugs people to hear of these postings, as if I'm trying to "one up" or brag about my kids in a hasty way. In a sense I understood but then just last night, I read of a person "bragging" about getting a raise and it all came clearer to me.

This is my JOB. These four beautiful daughters are my biggest blessing and achievement in life. I have messed up so much that they are what I give my all to. I'm actually not to bad at it either. I have learned to tell myself that I'm doing the best I can and I SHOULD be happy and BRAG about their achievements in school or other activities.

You wont ever see me write that I got a raise, hit a quota or landed a deal at my work. But my accomplishments will come in the form of my kids.

So from here on out I'm not going to tip toe around the fact that Tylerr is "gifted" (the words the school ELP and Psychologist used at her school) or the fact that Kennedy struggles so much that we have tears every night, so when she gets a good grades I celebrate it like its her birthday!

So for the people out there that think that I am "bragging" I am. I am happy for my kids and their achievements. This doesn't mean that I also wont be right along side you cheering your own child on with their own achievements. That's what we do as mom's/ parents we lift each other and our kids up. We don't tear each other down for boasting in our children's success.

Ahhh NUTS

....yep, that's Pierce's new saying. Did really care, didn't seem like a bad thing to say. There could be worse things, but today at QT in the mist of all the cuteness she dropped the NUTS bomb.

Silly and sweet as she is holding a sucker a little old lady was telling her adorable she is (duh, right?). She was twirling and singing songs. The lady was quite surprised that she even knew that words to three little pigs. That's when it happened. She dropped her sucker in all the excitement and she yelled out "ahhh, nuts"!  The ladies face turned speechless and she looked at me and said " how dare a cute little face have such a filthy mouth" (I'm sure that's what my own mom says about me!!!). As, I ignored the lady and proceeded to pay for Pierce's sucker, she grabbed my arm and asked me if I heard what my child said. " Politely I replied with a "yes,mam I did" and walked away.

So really, do you think the "ahhh, nuts" is bad?